Mary Ellen's "Merry" Christmas

As we all know, the holiday season increases the stress level in most people. For some, it's the revulsion of having to share time and space with in-laws and out-laws one finds particularly repugnant. For others, it's the pressure to prepare the home for guests, to shop and satisfy the finicky tastes of spoiled children or partners or parents--there's always SOMEONE who has everything and is very difficult to shop for. Pox on their houses, eh? The first Christmas without a recently deceased loved one is the most painful experience some people have to undergo at a time of year when so many others are enjoying the family get-togethers, the sinful food, their time-honored religious traditions.

For the record, my mother-in-law is a saint. And an angel. And now, sadly, a widow. Ironically, or maybe not, her husband of 44 years died suddenly and unexpectedly following a "routine" cardiac procedure at the arguably best heart care facility in the country, if not the world: The Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio.  They had traveled to that particular facility specifically because my father-in-law was very biased about getting "the best" of whatever was available. It didn't matter if he was talking about automobiles, CPUs, hay balers, food, or cooking utensils; if you were gonna spend money for it you had to pursue "the best."

Not surprisingly, he was one of those people mentioned above who are hair-pullingly difficult to buy a gift for.  He was known for buying whatever it was he wanted, even if it meant bidding on eBay for days on end. For several years the first thing he'd do when he came to visit us was ask to use a computer so he could check on the items on which bids were pending. I learned quite a bit about the world, and his personal relationship with it, simply by asking him about the items he was bidding on. He was curious and smart, an engineer at heart who taught himself a great deal about a great many things.

He was an educated man having earned a bachelors degree when he was a young man; however, his pursuit of useful knowledge never stopped. It would be fair to characterize his trip to Cleveland as a fact-finding mission as he was earnestly trying to understand what was happening to him. Instead of having his care managed piece-meal, he wanted a comprehensive, integrated review of his physical condition. Unfortunately, it was much worse than anyone imagined although there were indications that something very serious was suspected. He died later that night as a matter of fact.  

I had mixed emotions at first, especially since two of his favorite grandkids were in bed, blissfully asleep.  
Then I thought of my wife, who had raced headlong into the night, alone in the middle of Ohio, heart-broken and crying because her father had just died and worried sick for her mom, alone in a hospital in a strange city. Needless to say, it was a very trying week. I held it together until we entered the cathedral and heard some beautiful, absolutely gorgeous music. That was in September.

Now, my mother-in-law, a woman for whom I'd lay in the middle of the street for, has to endure her first Christmas without her husband of so many, many years. They raised 4 children together and were up to their eyeballs in grandchildren, 10 at last count. But I don't know what I can do to give her comfort. I was pretty good at picking out gifts for the man who had everything. I have to hope that my Muse of gift-giving can inspire me and help my wife's wonderful, compassionate, and kind mom get through this holiday season relatively unscathed. That would make my Christmas merry. Speak to me, my Muse! My Muse!

Peace to all --JR

PS-For a little context, my wife fell and severely sprained her ankle a week ago. She cannot put any weight on it or risks surgical reconstruction, Her 14-year old daughter missed 4 days of school last week because of herniated discs in her low back. And I need help getting my shoes and socks on everyday.  We need a maid and a nurse in addition to the requisite Muse. Any volunteers?